Things were fine
before you returned.
I had just written
how full of love
i felt with my children.
Then you came in
and with a rush
of YOU YOU YOU
you knocked down
everyone else
so all that was left
was you.
LLH
3/30/18
10:46 PM
Filed under domestic abuse, Feelings
Photo courtesy of Intimate Fitness ™
It’s been almost a week
without you.
It feels so quiet here
without you.
I strain to hear
your voice in the silence.
But all I hear
is your absence.
I get lonely
and more lonely
and i can only think
if you were here only.
What is this feeling
that I feel?
When will this healing
begin to heal?
You aren’t mine
and i’m not yours
But i near the line
and open doors
To places I don’t belong
but long to linger
And just once
feel your fingers
As they stroke my face
and run through my hair
As if I were there
or you were here.
LLH
3/23/18
9:46 am
Photo courtesy of beeveephoto on Flickr.
She has a plan
and good intentions,
but she stands at the sink
and washes the dishes.
Dirty water
won’t stop draining
and all she thinks
is of poetry writing.
She’s slowly falling apart.
She thinks of poetry.
A bubble she blows.
She refills the sink
and listens to Crows.
Where did i go?
Who am i now?
Am i exactly the same,
and if so, how?
The dishes are done,
and dinner is fine.
My insides turned out
what did i find?
I’m slowly falling apart.
LLH
11/15/17
7:06 pm
Filed under Feelings
From 100 Layer Cakelet
Without you
there is no one
to tell me i’m okay.
Without you
I will believe
every lie that they say.
Without you
I am lonely
and so very alone.
I hate this time.
I hate this day.
I even hate my home.
There is nothing
anymore
but negativity.
There is nothing
anymore
but what i have done wrong.
Was your promise
necessary?
Was your promise
the end of me?
Without you
it is my end.
I’ll only say
Goodbye, my friend.
LLH
11:18 PM
10/21/17
Filed under Uncategorized
I didn’t realize
that goodbye
really meant
goodbye.
Forever is a long time
to go without a friend
that you’ve been with
forever.
And now i’m all alone.
And now i’m always sad.
And now i can’t tell you
When something makes me smile.
I go to the beach
and wander past the waves
and feel the sand
as it pushes between my toes.
But you aren’t there.
You were always there.
Just me and you.
And now i’m all alone.
I don’t know how
to say goodbye
when goodbye
is forever.
LLH
7/17/17
4:19 pm
Actual photo I took that night.
The cool night breeze
strokes my hair
and encircles my body
like the hug that I
desperately need.
The leaves in the limbs above
rustle quietly,
a reminder that I’m not alone.
The steady moon
looks down on me
while the streak of clouds
move briskly by.
The moon is God;
the clouds, my troubles.
I snap a photo,
but you just can’t see
the moon and clouds
like they are for real.
I am saddened
that I can’t share
My God with you
tonight.
LLH
07-17-2016
Edit on 12/14/16
Filed under Feelings, God, Nature, Observations
Award-winning photo by Hara Woltz
He is a curse
dressed as a blessing.
Indifference
that promises love.
A promise as empty
………..as the pond
………..in Dad’s backyard.
The fish are dead;
the turtle gone
to find a home
………..deeper, cooler.
I am as sorrowful
at losing him
……….as losing the pond.
Both I’ve known
for years upon years.
Both bring comfort
……….and a smile.
A familiar place
……….to return to.
But now it’s time
to fill that empty hole,
make something new
……….in its place.
Something, perhaps,
I will love passionately.
Something that won’t
be so draining
……….or so shallow.
LLH
9/30/16
9:o0ish AM
