Tag Archives: sadness

Suddenly Aware

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I feel it slipping away.
They’re growing up
growing away.
I gave up everything
                for them.

Of course, i did.
And i’d do it again.
But i see the loneliness
the utter emptiness
             of my future.

I made so many mistakes,
so many wrong decisions,
that left me here
in a present that is
             slowly fading.

I feel the panic
and sudden awareness
that everything i’ve lived for
is eventually leaving me
             alone with myself.

By LLH
10/17/19
3:27 PM

“Growing Up Alone”by Clay Carson is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

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Filed under Divorce, Feelings, Me, Parenting, Uncategorized

When Goodbye Is Forever

I didn’t realize
that goodbye
really meant
goodbye.

Forever is a long time
to go without a friend
that you’ve been with
forever.

And now i’m all alone.
And now i’m always sad.
And now i can’t tell you
When something makes me smile.

I go to the beach
and wander past the waves
and feel the sand
as it pushes between my toes.

But you aren’t there.
You were always there.
Just me and you.
And now i’m all alone.

I don’t know how
to say goodbye
when goodbye
is forever.

LLH
7/17/17
4:19 pm

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Filed under Feelings, Me

The Moon and the Clouds #Poetry

Actual photo I took that night.

Actual photo I took that night.

The cool night breeze
strokes my hair
and encircles my body
like the hug that I
desperately need.

The leaves in the limbs above
rustle quietly,
a reminder that I’m not alone.

The steady moon
looks down on me
while the streak of clouds
move briskly by.

The moon is God;
the clouds, my troubles.

I snap a photo,
but you just can’t see
the moon and clouds
like they are for real.

I am saddened
that I can’t share
My God with you
tonight.

 

LLH

07-17-2016

Edit on 12/14/16

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Filed under Feelings, God, Nature, Observations

Mixed Emotions

Photo by LilyLover.

Photo by LilyLover.

He’s the one that got my humor.

The one that i could laugh with.

He was my soul mate

for sixteen long years.

Years of pain and poison.

 

It’s good he’s gone.

It’s good i left him.

So why am i so sad?

Why am i hurting?

 

Is it the loneliness?

The extra responsibility?

Missing arms holding me

and lips on my neck?

 

Depression is heavy.

It wears you down.

The little pills are no substitute

for the happiness i felt.

 

LLH

4/12/15

11:29 PM

 

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Filed under 30in30, Divorce, domestic abuse, Feelings

I’ll Get By

Image from Stock Clip

Image from Stock Clip

I write short, happy poems
So I don’t need to delve
Deep into my soul
Filled with emotions
Dark and scary.
Even I am overwhelmed
By these thoughts
By this sadness
By this me
That I’ve become.
Don’t feel responsible
For my feelings
Or my hurt.
They aren’t yours to own.
I’ll get by
Even without
A man of skin.

LLH
4-7-15
2:31 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings

The Color Blue

Image from WallpapersWA.com

Image from WallpapersWA.com

They say that blue

relaxes you.

I find no calming effect.

.

It fills me up

with cold, blue tears

and makes me quite upset.

.

I like a perfect pink

a pretty perky yellow.

Green in all its shades

is like a happy hello.

.

But you,

.  you blue,

you sadden me

like raindrops on the roof.

You chill the temps

and dim the sky

and make the world aloof.

.

LLH

4-6-15

3:18 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings, Weather

One Week After

The tears fall

irregularly

over little hurts

real and imagined.

 

Our world hiccupped

to February ‘13

But now they are older

now they understand.

 

Me?

It is my fault.

I tried to make it work.

 

But

It isn’t under my control.

Is anything, really?

 

Control is an illusion.

 

I wipe the tears.

I offer my arms

and my love.

 

We eat pizza

and watch a movie

……and heal.

 

Tomorrow will be better.

 

Photo courtesy of Leonid Mamchenkov

Photo courtesy of Leonid Mamchenkov

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LLH

10/22/14

10:34 AM

2 Comments

Filed under Divorce, domestic abuse, Family, Feelings, Parenting