Category Archives: Me

Without You

Photo courtesy of Intimate Fitness ™

It’s been almost a week
without you.
It feels so quiet here
without you.

I strain to hear
your voice in the silence.
But all I hear
is your absence.

I get lonely
and more lonely
and i can only think
if you were here only.

What is this feeling
that I feel?
When will this healing
begin to heal?

You aren’t mine
and i’m not yours
But i near the line
and open doors

To places I don’t belong
but long to linger
And just once
feel your fingers

As they stroke my face
and run through my hair
As if I were there
or you were here.

LLH
3/23/18
9:46 am

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Filed under Feelings, Love, Me

When Goodbye Is Forever

I didn’t realize
that goodbye
really meant
goodbye.

Forever is a long time
to go without a friend
that you’ve been with
forever.

And now i’m all alone.
And now i’m always sad.
And now i can’t tell you
When something makes me smile.

I go to the beach
and wander past the waves
and feel the sand
as it pushes between my toes.

But you aren’t there.
You were always there.
Just me and you.
And now i’m all alone.

I don’t know how
to say goodbye
when goodbye
is forever.

LLH
7/17/17
4:19 pm

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Filed under Feelings, Me

Turn Around

Photo courtesy of QuoteEveryday.com.

Photo courtesy of QuoteEveryday.com.

Turn around
Walk away
Save your heart
And your mind.

Stand up tall
Head held high
You’re worth more
Than his words.

Someone thinks you’re pretty.
Someone values you.
Someone knows you’re smarter
Than he made you believe.

You are you.
Love that you.
Do not change
To be his.

LLH
11-10-14
2:40 pm

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Filed under Divorce, domestic abuse, Love, Me

Sleeping In #poetry #poem

Thanks to 8tracks for the image.

Thanks to 8tracks for the image.

I pray.

I know He has laid my path for me.

I just need to follow it.

But diversions distract me.

And i want to sleep away

the days that hurt.

 

I fight.

You say that i’m the strong one.

I don’t think so.

The struggles defeat me.

And i want to sleep away

the days of anger.

 

I cry.

The tears draw lines on my cheeks.

I just wipe them away.

But more tears replace them.

And i want to sleep away

the days of sadness.

 

I’m so tired of doing this alone.

I’m so tired of wanting to share.

I’m so tired of looking for you.

And so i will sleep away

the days that overwhelm me.

 

 

LLH

5:02 PM

6/29/14

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Filed under Feelings, God, Me

That’s not me #poem #poetry

My sister and i looking for our brothers in a game of hide-and-go-seek. Photo taken by Ed Esposito

My sister and i looking for our brothers in a game of hide-and-go-seek. Photo by Ed Esposito

Once upon a time, there lived a princess. But that’s not me. I was a tomboy, picking worms from the earth and collecting ants for my plexiglass farm, complete with kelly-green John Deere tractor. The holes in the “farm” were too big and even the large black ants would stick their antennae out, feeling around for i don’t know what, before squishing their bulky bodies through the opening, finding freedom on the porch, the gateway to the world. Certainly, with this manufacturing flaw, the ant farm was not permitted in the house.

 

Once upon a time, there lived a princess. But that’s not me. I am a pyromaniac, who loves to make bonfires and grill out. I like the feel of the wood, the meticulous formation of newspaper and kindling. The precarious tent of branches raised up and burned down. I like to monitor the embers, adding more sticks. I like the dance of the fire, the feel of the heat, the snapping sounds of sap escaping wood. I like the sparks that jump from the flame and dissolve in the night sky, the moths that approach the light but run from the heat, the burnt remains that float heavenward, disappearing into the dark of the night.

 

Once upon a time, there lived a princess. But that’s not me. I am a sports fanatic. I am a die-hard fan. I scream at the refs and yell at the players. I scare the dog as I holler “Touchdown!” The kids tiptoe past the television screen only during commercial breaks for fear of the wrath of Momma if she misses a play. They know it’s not real anger, but the joke still runs its course each football season.

 

Once upon a time, there lived a princess. But that’s not me. I am t-shirt, shorts, and slip-on tennies. I am hair-pulled back ponytail. I am a no-make-up, no-jewelry kinda girl. I am a barefoot-in-the-yard, dancing-in-the-rain, off-key singer. I am a child of God. Jesus is my man. I read my Bible nightly. I cuss. I want a tattoo. I like it when the sun sets and lights my room on fire.

LLH

6/19/14

2 Comments

Filed under Me, Memories

Maybe Tomorrow #poetry

Photo by Mark Malone

Photo by Mark Malone

I am not the same girl you knew.

I am not shy and sad.

I am not one who smiles

easily.

 

I am someone completely new.

I am angry and hurt.

I pretend happiness

questionably.

 

I cry at nothing

and everything.

I yearn for ease

and happiness.

 

I don’t get

what i want.

But that’s okay.

I get

what i need.

 

So maybe tomorrow…

i’ll be who you knew.

Maybe i’ll smile

and truly be happy

.   effortlessly

.        steadily

.             free.

 

LLH

6/7/14

3:20 AM

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Filed under domestic abuse, Feelings, Me

Who I Am #poetry

 

Converted using Cartoonize.net

Converted using Cartoonize.net

 

Sometimes, poetry overtakes me.

And i let it. I always let it.

 

Because who am i, if not a poet?

Who am i, if not words and letters,

a splattering of paint, the scratch of a pencil?

 

He said, “if i don’t get you,

then it’s my loss.”

 

And in that statement,

I understand

that he gets me.

 

LLH

5/26/14

3:11 PM

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