Tag Archives: alone



I go through life
whispering “i love you”
and hoping you don’t hear.

You go through life
walking on eggshells,
waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Others fall deeply,
writing new last names
with hearts and curly Qs.

I don’t even imagine
what it’d be like
to be in your every day,
under God’s bright sun,
in the dark of night,
at the grocery store,
and between the sheets.

A pang of regret
about missed experiences
and no one to hug.

But i don’t think further.
I really don’t.

It’s an empty pursuit
that ended before it began
with a line in the sand
that can never be crossed.

9:23 PM
I’m sorry that i wrote this. That i put my feelings into words on a screen. Visible and real. I’m sorry it’s a Friday night, and there are two long days until we speak again. I’m sorry you’re probably watching another Hallmark Christmas movie. I’m sorry for being needy and lonely and sometimes a little crazy. I’m sorry you need me as much as i need you.
No one reads these poems but you.


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Filed under Feelings, Love

Suddenly Aware


I feel it slipping away.
They’re growing up
growing away.
I gave up everything
                for them.

Of course, i did.
And i’d do it again.
But i see the loneliness
the utter emptiness
             of my future.

I made so many mistakes,
so many wrong decisions,
that left me here
in a present that is
             slowly fading.

I feel the panic
and sudden awareness
that everything i’ve lived for
is eventually leaving me
             alone with myself.

3:27 PM

“Growing Up Alone”by Clay Carson is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

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Filed under Divorce, Feelings, Me, Parenting, Uncategorized

Without You

Photo courtesy of Intimate Fitness ™

It’s been almost a week
without you.
It feels so quiet here
without you.

I strain to hear
your voice in the silence.
But all I hear
is your absence.

I get lonely
and more lonely
and i can only think
if you were here only.

What is this feeling
that I feel?
When will this healing
begin to heal?

You aren’t mine
and i’m not yours
But i near the line
and open doors

To places I don’t belong
but long to linger
And just once
feel your fingers

As they stroke my face
and run through my hair
As if I were there
or you were here.

9:46 am

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Filed under Feelings, Love, Me

When Goodbye Is Forever

I didn’t realize
that goodbye
really meant

Forever is a long time
to go without a friend
that you’ve been with

And now i’m all alone.
And now i’m always sad.
And now i can’t tell you
When something makes me smile.

I go to the beach
and wander past the waves
and feel the sand
as it pushes between my toes.

But you aren’t there.
You were always there.
Just me and you.
And now i’m all alone.

I don’t know how
to say goodbye
when goodbye
is forever.

4:19 pm

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Filed under Feelings, Me

Sleeping In #poetry #poem

Thanks to 8tracks for the image.

Thanks to 8tracks for the image.

I pray.

I know He has laid my path for me.

I just need to follow it.

But diversions distract me.

And i want to sleep away

the days that hurt.


I fight.

You say that i’m the strong one.

I don’t think so.

The struggles defeat me.

And i want to sleep away

the days of anger.


I cry.

The tears draw lines on my cheeks.

I just wipe them away.

But more tears replace them.

And i want to sleep away

the days of sadness.


I’m so tired of doing this alone.

I’m so tired of wanting to share.

I’m so tired of looking for you.

And so i will sleep away

the days that overwhelm me.




5:02 PM



Filed under Feelings, God, Me

If You Were Here Tonight #30in30 #poetry #make30

Photo courtesy of Oprah.

Photo courtesy of Oprah.


I’ve decided to talk to you

Even though you are not here.

To tell you what I’m feeling

That I’m hurting, shaking, scared.


I’m writing down these words

As if you’re here tonight

Like you were

.                About this time

For the past few nights.


If I pretend I’m not alone

And act like I’m not lonely

Perhaps I won’t fail me

And my God again.


If you were here

With me tonight

You’d tell me bits of wisdom

And build me up again.


Then before I even know it

Before we are aware

I’ve made you smile

You’ve made me smile



But you aren’t here tonight.

And these are only my words.

And I still have doubts

And I still mess up.




LLH 4/18/14 & 4/19/14



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Filed under 30in30, Feelings

AlOnE #poetry #30in30 #make30


Photo by Mahyar Charehjoo.

Photo by Mahyar Charehjoo.


I loved you like I shouldn’t

I felt so close to you.

I shared with you

Things no one else knew

Or saw.


And yet you left me

All alone.

I watched for you

And waited.

But you never returned to me.


I saw your pictures change

And I knew you could’ve come.

But you left me.


I understand.

I was too much.

Too demanding.

Too strong.


And now I wilt alone.

And now I’m without you.

Thinking of lions

And kisses

And your strong arms.


But I’ll never know them.

Never feel them.

Because you left me





2:00 AM



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Filed under 30in30, Feelings