Tag Archives: love

Unimaginable

sunset-dusk-twilight-sea

I go through life
whispering “i love you”
and hoping you don’t hear.

You go through life
walking on eggshells,
waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Others fall deeply,
writing new last names
with hearts and curly Qs.

I don’t even imagine
what it’d be like
to be in your every day,
under God’s bright sun,
in the dark of night,
at the grocery store,
and between the sheets.

A pang of regret
about missed experiences
and no one to hug.

But i don’t think further.
I really don’t.

It’s an empty pursuit
that ended before it began
with a line in the sand
that can never be crossed.

LLH
11/15/19
9:23 PM
I’m sorry that i wrote this. That i put my feelings into words on a screen. Visible and real. I’m sorry it’s a Friday night, and there are two long days until we speak again. I’m sorry you’re probably watching another Hallmark Christmas movie. I’m sorry for being needy and lonely and sometimes a little crazy. I’m sorry you need me as much as i need you.
No one reads these poems but you.

 

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Filed under Feelings, Love

Without You

Photo courtesy of Intimate Fitness ™

It’s been almost a week
without you.
It feels so quiet here
without you.

I strain to hear
your voice in the silence.
But all I hear
is your absence.

I get lonely
and more lonely
and i can only think
if you were here only.

What is this feeling
that I feel?
When will this healing
begin to heal?

You aren’t mine
and i’m not yours
But i near the line
and open doors

To places I don’t belong
but long to linger
And just once
feel your fingers

As they stroke my face
and run through my hair
As if I were there
or you were here.

LLH
3/23/18
9:46 am

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Filed under Feelings, Love, Me

The Backyard Pond – A Poem About Loss That’s Not That Bad

Award-winning photo by Hara Woltz

Award-winning photo by Hara Woltz

He is a curse
dressed as a blessing.
Indifference
that promises love.
A promise as empty
………..as the pond
………..in Dad’s backyard.

The fish are dead;
the turtle gone
to find a home
………..deeper, cooler.

I am as sorrowful
at losing him
……….as losing the pond.

Both I’ve known
for years upon years.
Both bring comfort
……….and a smile.
A familiar place
……….to return to.

But now it’s time
to fill that empty hole,
make something new
……….in its place.

Something, perhaps,
I will love passionately.
Something that won’t
be so draining
……….or so shallow.

LLH
9/30/16
9:o0ish AM

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Filed under Divorce, Feelings, Nature

It Isn’t Love

Image from Examiner.com

Image from Examiner.com

It isn’t love.

Just because i think of you

randomly

and thoroughly

throughout my every day.

 

Just because i smile

when you type my name.

Just because i wait up late

to chat with you.

 

Just because i plan my day

around your schedule.

Just because my heart flutters

when i see your name in my email.

 

Just because i dream

about things that will never happen.

Just because i ask God

why i feel the way i do.

 

That doesn’t mean it’s love.

 

LLH

4/8/15

9:59 am

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings, Love

New Year

Image from Flower Shop Network.

Image from Flower Shop Network.

New year,
New goals.
Build me,
Shed fool.
Cleansing rain
January showers.
Clear my mind
Send me flowers.
Smiles come
To my inbox
Long discussions
Lengthy talks.
I’m sorry that
You make me
Happy.
I’m sad to
Admit it’s true.
‘Cause we both know
That “us” is one
New Year’s wish
That can never
come true.

LLH
January 2015

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Filed under Divorce, Feelings, Love

Him #poetry #poem #30in30

I hide from you

…sometimes…

in the dark of night,

but you see me still.

 

Why do you love me?

 

I associate him

with put downs

of how i’ll never succeed

because of my gender.

 

I associate him

with secrets between us

that adults can’t know

and i shouldn’t tell.

 

I associate him

with unspoken anger

silence on car rides

and quiet punishment.

 

I associate him

with upheaval

with fear

with danger

with warning

with “don’t you dare”

and “you will pay.”

 

A bruise.

A hurt.

“Forgive me, please.”

 

How then can i

see you as Love?

How then can i

accept your Grace?

Teach me

not to hate

the word “him.”

 

LLH

4/1/15

9:22 am

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Filed under 30in30, domestic abuse, Feelings, God

Christmas Wish #poetry #poem

Under the Mistletoe! XL

Photo by Local Nomad

 

I want to send you a Christmas card

to tell you all that you mean to me.

But i’m not allowed to do that

for fear it would be taken wrong.

 

I saw a gift on the store shelf

and thought it was perfect for you.

But i can’t give you any presents

for fear it would be taken wrong.

 

I want to kiss under the mistletoe

to feel you near, your lips on mine.

But i can never feel you, skin on skin.

No one must know how i feel.

 

Not even you.


LLH

12/18/14

3:01 pm

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Filed under Feelings, Love, Seasons, Uncategorized