Tag Archives: poetry

The Line

cross the line

Image from Map Consulting.

 

I look at my poems

and realize with fear

that it is I

.   not you

who will mess this up.

This nameless thing

we have,

.   but don’t have.

I’ll take a step back

across that imaginary line

in order to save

.   us.

 

 

LLH
4-8-15
3:47 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings

All you had to do was say goodbye… #poetry #poem

Photo courtesy of Maurilio Amorim.

Photo courtesy of Maurilio Amorim.

I know i had a bad day again.

I was difficult and apologetic.

I was irate, demanding, and sad.

But all you had to do was say goodbye.

 

All we’ve been through

all these years

all the lines crossed

you always said goodbye.

 

I feel i said too much

asked to much

wanted more than i needed.

and so you left without a word.

 

I want to act unscathed

like that simple non-action

meant nothing at all

when it hurt like nothing else.

 

You never once

in all these years

left me alone

without saying goodbye.

 

And even with all i did,

i cannot understand why.


.

.

LLH

1-15-15

9:57 PM

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My Uncertain Idea #poetry #poem

 pop

I had an idea.

A small thought

that grew

until it consumed me.

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Was it like a party balloon,

brightly colored

expanding with helium,

representing excitement

and “fun,”

the subject of the email

in which i shared that idea

with you?

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Was it like a tree

beginning as a seed

and flourishing under care,

growing strong

and representing

new life?

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Or was it a cancer

scary and dangerous,

taking over what little remained

and turning it into

nothing

but memories?

 

 

LLH

1/9/15

2:04 AM

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It isn’t called love #poetry #poem

Photo courtesy of Genius.com

Photo courtesy of Genius.com

Our secret relationship ended

even though it never began.

I fell for you once again

knowing i couldn’t have you.

 

The pain is inside

where no one sees

but you.

 

The tears fall down now.

I am alone

still.

 

You are lonely, too.

 

We discuss

wants and needs.

We talk about vows

and promises to God.

 

We don’t tell anyone

about these feelings

whatever name they have

Just so it isn’t

called love.

 

 

LLH

11/21/14

10:22 pm

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Filed under Feelings, Love

Unfelt #poetry #poem

Photo credit: NJ Tamil Radio

Photo credit: NJ Tamil Radio

I keep feeling

What shouldn’t be felt.

I deny it

At every turn.

 

But there you are

In my happy place

Where smiles grow

And fear runs away.

 

I keep feeling

What shouldn’t be felt.

And I think you

Keep feeling it, too.

 

LLH

11-10-14

2:30 pm

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Filed under Feelings, Love

Pray for Jackie’s Strength #Poetry

Press play on the video and then read the poem. I wrote the poem while listening to this Tori Amos song and hopefully you will see the parallels between the song and the poem.


I thought we were the real thing.

I thought my day had come,

but I was forced into it —

unready.

 

I gave into commands

so often it became

natural, expected.

Our marriage.

 

I did not know this wasn’t real

until after the babies came.

And then it was too late.

Right?

 

By then I was trapped

but years of abuse

were suddenly

more real.

 

And i hadn’t realized before

how very alone i was.

How very sad i felt

with him.

 

Hopes were raised continuously

and dashed again

in a rhythmic motion

like waves on rocks.

 

Rocks wear down eventually.

 

How many times was i slapped

figuratively

until i was punched

literally?

 

Does it matter?

We aren’t real.

This never was the real thing.

Nor will it ever be.

 

LLH

9/18/14

10:41 PM

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That’s not me #poem #poetry

My sister and i looking for our brothers in a game of hide-and-go-seek. Photo taken by Ed Esposito

My sister and i looking for our brothers in a game of hide-and-go-seek. Photo by Ed Esposito

Once upon a time, there lived a princess. But that’s not me. I was a tomboy, picking worms from the earth and collecting ants for my plexiglass farm, complete with kelly-green John Deere tractor. The holes in the “farm” were too big and even the large black ants would stick their antennae out, feeling around for i don’t know what, before squishing their bulky bodies through the opening, finding freedom on the porch, the gateway to the world. Certainly, with this manufacturing flaw, the ant farm was not permitted in the house.

 

Once upon a time, there lived a princess. But that’s not me. I am a pyromaniac, who loves to make bonfires and grill out. I like the feel of the wood, the meticulous formation of newspaper and kindling. The precarious tent of branches raised up and burned down. I like to monitor the embers, adding more sticks. I like the dance of the fire, the feel of the heat, the snapping sounds of sap escaping wood. I like the sparks that jump from the flame and dissolve in the night sky, the moths that approach the light but run from the heat, the burnt remains that float heavenward, disappearing into the dark of the night.

 

Once upon a time, there lived a princess. But that’s not me. I am a sports fanatic. I am a die-hard fan. I scream at the refs and yell at the players. I scare the dog as I holler “Touchdown!” The kids tiptoe past the television screen only during commercial breaks for fear of the wrath of Momma if she misses a play. They know it’s not real anger, but the joke still runs its course each football season.

 

Once upon a time, there lived a princess. But that’s not me. I am t-shirt, shorts, and slip-on tennies. I am hair-pulled back ponytail. I am a no-make-up, no-jewelry kinda girl. I am a barefoot-in-the-yard, dancing-in-the-rain, off-key singer. I am a child of God. Jesus is my man. I read my Bible nightly. I cuss. I want a tattoo. I like it when the sun sets and lights my room on fire.

LLH

6/19/14

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Filed under Me, Memories