Tag Archives: fear

Him #poetry #poem #30in30

I hide from you

…sometimes…

in the dark of night,

but you see me still.

 

Why do you love me?

 

I associate him

with put downs

of how i’ll never succeed

because of my gender.

 

I associate him

with secrets between us

that adults can’t know

and i shouldn’t tell.

 

I associate him

with unspoken anger

silence on car rides

and quiet punishment.

 

I associate him

with upheaval

with fear

with danger

with warning

with “don’t you dare”

and “you will pay.”

 

A bruise.

A hurt.

“Forgive me, please.”

 

How then can i

see you as Love?

How then can i

accept your Grace?

Teach me

not to hate

the word “him.”

 

LLH

4/1/15

9:22 am

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Filed under 30in30, domestic abuse, Feelings, God

Fear #poetry #poem

Photo courtesy of Michael Staires

Photo courtesy of Michael Staires

I fear this is a trick,

this excitement in my blood

that keeps a smile

lingering.

 

I fear it’s just a ploy

to get his needs met

without regard

to mine.

 

I know my fears

are unfounded.

 

I know that i’ve

been hurt.

 

I trust he is real

a man of his word

who sees me as

deserving.

 

I trust he won’t

reopen my scars

and leave me alone

bleeding.

 

I am learning

to trust again.

 

But still, I find myself

fearing.

 

 

LLH

5/29/14

2:00ish PM

2 Comments

Filed under domestic abuse, Feelings, Love