Tag Archives: emotional abuse

I am…

 

She told me to write a list

beginning with “I am.”

Like “I am a writer,

I am a poet,

I am a Christian.”

 

The only words

I can think tonight

are his words.

I am stupid.

I am fat.

I am ugly.

I am lazy.

I am hopeless.

I am helpless.

I am mean.

I am selfish.

 

I will always

be alone,

because who

would want me?

 

Will i always

be defined

by his words

instead of mine?

 

LLH

5/12/15

11:04 PM

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Filed under domestic abuse, Feelings

The Snake #Poem #Poetry

05-05-15 Snake 1She told me about the snake

who will always be a snake

no matter the kindness that

i should bestow upon him.

 

He managed to break my heart

with a flick of his fork’d tongue

05-05-15 Snake 2and the words from his pursed lips.

He managed to push me down.

 

I have seen him from this view.

I have watched him degrade me.

I have sat in fear of him

‘Til next-day apologies.

 

His tongue breaks my tender heart;

His tail, a blade, makes me bleed.

I will never be enough;

I don’t think i want to be.

 

As long as i remember

a snake is always a snake.

Regardless of my actions,

he is going to bite me.

 

LLH

5/5/15

10:10 PM

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Pray for Jackie’s Strength #Poetry

Press play on the video and then read the poem. I wrote the poem while listening to this Tori Amos song and hopefully you will see the parallels between the song and the poem.


I thought we were the real thing.

I thought my day had come,

but I was forced into it —

unready.

 

I gave into commands

so often it became

natural, expected.

Our marriage.

 

I did not know this wasn’t real

until after the babies came.

And then it was too late.

Right?

 

By then I was trapped

but years of abuse

were suddenly

more real.

 

And i hadn’t realized before

how very alone i was.

How very sad i felt

with him.

 

Hopes were raised continuously

and dashed again

in a rhythmic motion

like waves on rocks.

 

Rocks wear down eventually.

 

How many times was i slapped

figuratively

until i was punched

literally?

 

Does it matter?

We aren’t real.

This never was the real thing.

Nor will it ever be.

 

LLH

9/18/14

10:41 PM

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Filed under domestic abuse