Tag Archives: divorce

The Backyard Pond – A Poem About Loss That’s Not That Bad

Award-winning photo by Hara Woltz

Award-winning photo by Hara Woltz

He is a curse
dressed as a blessing.
Indifference
that promises love.
A promise as empty
………..as the pond
………..in Dad’s backyard.

The fish are dead;
the turtle gone
to find a home
………..deeper, cooler.

I am as sorrowful
at losing him
……….as losing the pond.

Both I’ve known
for years upon years.
Both bring comfort
……….and a smile.
A familiar place
……….to return to.

But now it’s time
to fill that empty hole,
make something new
……….in its place.

Something, perhaps,
I will love passionately.
Something that won’t
be so draining
……….or so shallow.

LLH
9/30/16
9:o0ish AM

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Filed under Divorce, Feelings, Nature

Divorce

Photo from The Grid.

Photo from The Grid.

I am a failure.
People say “sorry”
when they hear
the news.

But I’m not sorry.
I tried.
.  I forgave.
.    I forgot.
And yet
he lied.
.  he took.
.    he hurt.

People say
when you’re in love,
.        you stay.
When you say “I do,”
.        it’s forever.
Vows before God
.        can’t be broken by man.

They hear “divorce”
and they think
it’s a shame.

But I can’t say
he beat me.
I can’t explain the drugs,
the loneliness, the fear.

So don’t assume
and don’t judge
just because
.  I’m happy
.    to be free.

 

LLH
4-8-15
3:58 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Divorce, domestic abuse

New Year

Image from Flower Shop Network.

Image from Flower Shop Network.

New year,
New goals.
Build me,
Shed fool.
Cleansing rain
January showers.
Clear my mind
Send me flowers.
Smiles come
To my inbox
Long discussions
Lengthy talks.
I’m sorry that
You make me
Happy.
I’m sad to
Admit it’s true.
‘Cause we both know
That “us” is one
New Year’s wish
That can never
come true.

LLH
January 2015

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Filed under Divorce, Feelings, Love

Growing

Thanks to FeelGrafix for the image.

Thanks to FeelGrafix for the image.

Growing stronger
With each sunrise.
Feel the beating
In my chest.

My God,
My Savior,
He protects me
From you
And all that
Beat me down.

Growing certain
Of my choices
That I’ve questioned
From Day 1.

Growing happy
With my life
As a single
Yet not just one.

LLH
3-5-15
10:39 AM

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Filed under Divorce, God

Pray for Jackie’s Strength #Poetry

Press play on the video and then read the poem. I wrote the poem while listening to this Tori Amos song and hopefully you will see the parallels between the song and the poem.


I thought we were the real thing.

I thought my day had come,

but I was forced into it —

unready.

 

I gave into commands

so often it became

natural, expected.

Our marriage.

 

I did not know this wasn’t real

until after the babies came.

And then it was too late.

Right?

 

By then I was trapped

but years of abuse

were suddenly

more real.

 

And i hadn’t realized before

how very alone i was.

How very sad i felt

with him.

 

Hopes were raised continuously

and dashed again

in a rhythmic motion

like waves on rocks.

 

Rocks wear down eventually.

 

How many times was i slapped

figuratively

until i was punched

literally?

 

Does it matter?

We aren’t real.

This never was the real thing.

Nor will it ever be.

 

LLH

9/18/14

10:41 PM

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Who do you think you are? #30in30 #make30 #poetry

Thanks to Catching Fire for the photo.

Thanks to Catching Fire for the photo.

Who do you think you are?

Wanting me one more time?

I am fragile still.

A shell of who I ever was.

 

You tell me that you love me

That I’m the only one.

Does she know that?

The one you called “most beautiful”?

 

I will grow strong.

I will move on.

I will find love

That isn’t a lie.

 

I threw away 16 years

In an attempt to make us whole

And now you say

It’s all my fault.

 

I do not accept you

As you are.

I constantly revisit

Our tortured past.

 

Who do you think you are?

Blaming me for your abuse?

I am strong now.

Strong enough to walk away.

 

 

LLH

4/20/14

12:23 AM

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Filed under 30in30, Divorce, domestic abuse, Feelings

What to Write? #30in30 #make30 #poetry

mistake

 

I broke free
from the yoke
he placed around my neck.

His anger
and abuse
always escalated.

I had thought
it would be
the hardest to break free.

i
was
wrong.

Loneliness,
fear of change,
hamper my every move.

However
it’s all new
and it’s my life to make.

A blank slate
a crisp page
just waiting for my words.

what
to
write?

 

 
LLH
4/12/14
11:29 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Divorce, domestic abuse