Tag Archives: abuse

The Snake #Poem #Poetry

05-05-15 Snake 1She told me about the snake

who will always be a snake

no matter the kindness that

i should bestow upon him.

 

He managed to break my heart

with a flick of his fork’d tongue

05-05-15 Snake 2and the words from his pursed lips.

He managed to push me down.

 

I have seen him from this view.

I have watched him degrade me.

I have sat in fear of him

‘Til next-day apologies.

 

His tongue breaks my tender heart;

His tail, a blade, makes me bleed.

I will never be enough;

I don’t think i want to be.

 

As long as i remember

a snake is always a snake.

Regardless of my actions,

he is going to bite me.

 

LLH

5/5/15

10:10 PM

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Last Night #Poetry

I pray in silence

as his words echo.

I await in his volume

for my coffin in the quiet.

 

His fingers grip

the softness of flesh.

Tomorrow, pink

will turn dark

and brooding.

 

I am nothing but

a fucking bitch,

a lazy cunt.

 

He throws with force

his drunken self

against the locked door.

The wooden frame groans.

The deadbolt holds fast.

 

“Can you hear that?”

I ask into the phone.

“I can hear everything,’

the dispatcher assures.

 

LLH
3-12-15
1:32 am

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Pray for Jackie’s Strength #Poetry

Press play on the video and then read the poem. I wrote the poem while listening to this Tori Amos song and hopefully you will see the parallels between the song and the poem.


I thought we were the real thing.

I thought my day had come,

but I was forced into it —

unready.

 

I gave into commands

so often it became

natural, expected.

Our marriage.

 

I did not know this wasn’t real

until after the babies came.

And then it was too late.

Right?

 

By then I was trapped

but years of abuse

were suddenly

more real.

 

And i hadn’t realized before

how very alone i was.

How very sad i felt

with him.

 

Hopes were raised continuously

and dashed again

in a rhythmic motion

like waves on rocks.

 

Rocks wear down eventually.

 

How many times was i slapped

figuratively

until i was punched

literally?

 

Does it matter?

We aren’t real.

This never was the real thing.

Nor will it ever be.

 

LLH

9/18/14

10:41 PM

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Who do you think you are? #30in30 #make30 #poetry

Thanks to Catching Fire for the photo.

Thanks to Catching Fire for the photo.

Who do you think you are?

Wanting me one more time?

I am fragile still.

A shell of who I ever was.

 

You tell me that you love me

That I’m the only one.

Does she know that?

The one you called “most beautiful”?

 

I will grow strong.

I will move on.

I will find love

That isn’t a lie.

 

I threw away 16 years

In an attempt to make us whole

And now you say

It’s all my fault.

 

I do not accept you

As you are.

I constantly revisit

Our tortured past.

 

Who do you think you are?

Blaming me for your abuse?

I am strong now.

Strong enough to walk away.

 

 

LLH

4/20/14

12:23 AM

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Filed under 30in30, Divorce, domestic abuse, Feelings

I Know Better #30in30 #poetry #make30

Image courtesy of Cuthbowskini’s Animation Gallery

 

I was never aware

That the one who held my hand

Was the one who held me down.

 

He was my prince in shining armor,

Or so he told me.

And I believed.

I believed him.

 

I wanted that fairytale

I wanted to be a princess.

But I was stepped on,

Pushed down,

Used and abused.

 

I didn’t know

It wasn’t normal.

I thought

Happiness

Came with conditions.

 

I know better now.

 

 

LLH

4/17/14

1:06 AM

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What to Write? #30in30 #make30 #poetry

mistake

 

I broke free
from the yoke
he placed around my neck.

His anger
and abuse
always escalated.

I had thought
it would be
the hardest to break free.

i
was
wrong.

Loneliness,
fear of change,
hamper my every move.

However
it’s all new
and it’s my life to make.

A blank slate
a crisp page
just waiting for my words.

what
to
write?

 

 
LLH
4/12/14
11:29 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Divorce, domestic abuse

Uncertainty #30in30 #make30 #poetry

Photo courtesy of Eleos Counselling

Photo courtesy of Eleos Counselling

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Addictive sadness spreads.

She is terminally depressed.

Abuse makes you uncertain

even when you shouldn’t be.

 

He toys with her emotions

She pours another drink.

She sips it slowly, purposefully,

then fills her cup again.

 

The stats are clear.

Her counselor certain

of what she has to do.

But still, she cannot do it.

 

She holds God’s hand

and cries to Him,

as sadness sweeps her

back down again.

 

LLH

4-10-14

7:45 PM

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Filed under 30in30, domestic abuse, Feelings