Tag Archives: 30 in 30


Canva - Woman Looking Out The Window - Mike Chang



There isn’t even an echo in reply.

And why would there be?

Who would want to answer?


Who would want to walk into this space

– dank, heavy, and endless –

with just me

and no one else?


I don’t even want to be with me.

Why would you?





3:00 AM

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings, Me

Do You Understand?

Canva - Grayscale Photography of Woman Looking Out a Window - Rafael Serafim

I am still in disbelief

that you hurt me 

the way you did.



Anyone but you,

I would’ve expected it from.

But not you.


Do you understand?

Can you even comprehend

how you tore me apart

when I was already 

so very low?


I knew it was coming.

Even though I didn’t.

I begged you to stand up

for yourself

for our friendship.


But what are my words,

black and white

on a computer screen,

to their speech,

their gestures,

their convincing tones?


And besides,

who am I

but some girl

you flirt with

behind everyone

else’s back?




That’s what they tell you..

That’s what they all think.

Is that what you think now, too?


I have looked for your email,

even on other accounts

that you wouldn’t possibly use.


I have tried to write this poem.

Tried to form words 

to explain what i feel

so you could understand.


Do you understand?


It hurts to be left

by everyone 

you love.


Oh, my friend,

it hurts. 




10:45 PM

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings, Me

Mixed Emotions

Photo by LilyLover.

Photo by LilyLover.

He’s the one that got my humor.

The one that i could laugh with.

He was my soul mate

for sixteen long years.

Years of pain and poison.


It’s good he’s gone.

It’s good i left him.

So why am i so sad?

Why am i hurting?


Is it the loneliness?

The extra responsibility?

Missing arms holding me

and lips on my neck?


Depression is heavy.

It wears you down.

The little pills are no substitute

for the happiness i felt.




11:29 PM



Filed under 30in30, Divorce, domestic abuse, Feelings


Photo from The Grid.

Photo from The Grid.

I am a failure.
People say “sorry”
when they hear
the news.

But I’m not sorry.
I tried.
.  I forgave.
.    I forgot.
And yet
he lied.
.  he took.
.    he hurt.

People say
when you’re in love,
.        you stay.
When you say “I do,”
.        it’s forever.
Vows before God
.        can’t be broken by man.

They hear “divorce”
and they think
it’s a shame.

But I can’t say
he beat me.
I can’t explain the drugs,
the loneliness, the fear.

So don’t assume
and don’t judge
just because
.  I’m happy
.    to be free.


3:58 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Divorce, domestic abuse

The Line

cross the line

Image from Map Consulting.


I look at my poems

and realize with fear

that it is I

.   not you

who will mess this up.

This nameless thing

we have,

.   but don’t have.

I’ll take a step back

across that imaginary line

in order to save

.   us.



3:47 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings