Divorce

Photo from The Grid.

Photo from The Grid.

I am a failure.
People say “sorry”
when they hear
the news.

But I’m not sorry.
I tried.
.  I forgave.
.    I forgot.
And yet
he lied.
.  he took.
.    he hurt.

People say
when you’re in love,
.        you stay.
When you say “I do,”
.        it’s forever.
Vows before God
.        can’t be broken by man.

They hear “divorce”
and they think
it’s a shame.

But I can’t say
he beat me.
I can’t explain the drugs,
the loneliness, the fear.

So don’t assume
and don’t judge
just because
.  I’m happy
.    to be free.

 

LLH
4-8-15
3:58 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Divorce, domestic abuse

The Line

cross the line

Image from Map Consulting.

 

I look at my poems

and realize with fear

that it is I

.   not you

who will mess this up.

This nameless thing

we have,

.   but don’t have.

I’ll take a step back

across that imaginary line

in order to save

.   us.

 

 

LLH
4-8-15
3:47 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings

It Isn’t Love

Image from Examiner.com

Image from Examiner.com

It isn’t love.

Just because i think of you

randomly

and thoroughly

throughout my every day.

 

Just because i smile

when you type my name.

Just because i wait up late

to chat with you.

 

Just because i plan my day

around your schedule.

Just because my heart flutters

when i see your name in my email.

 

Just because i dream

about things that will never happen.

Just because i ask God

why i feel the way i do.

 

That doesn’t mean it’s love.

 

LLH

4/8/15

9:59 am

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings, Love

New Year

Image from Flower Shop Network.

Image from Flower Shop Network.

New year,
New goals.
Build me,
Shed fool.
Cleansing rain
January showers.
Clear my mind
Send me flowers.
Smiles come
To my inbox
Long discussions
Lengthy talks.
I’m sorry that
You make me
Happy.
I’m sad to
Admit it’s true.
‘Cause we both know
That “us” is one
New Year’s wish
That can never
come true.

LLH
January 2015

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Filed under Divorce, Feelings, Love

Growing

Thanks to FeelGrafix for the image.

Thanks to FeelGrafix for the image.

Growing stronger
With each sunrise.
Feel the beating
In my chest.

My God,
My Savior,
He protects me
From you
And all that
Beat me down.

Growing certain
Of my choices
That I’ve questioned
From Day 1.

Growing happy
With my life
As a single
Yet not just one.

LLH
3-5-15
10:39 AM

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Filed under Divorce, God

I’ll Get By

Image from Stock Clip

Image from Stock Clip

I write short, happy poems
So I don’t need to delve
Deep into my soul
Filled with emotions
Dark and scary.
Even I am overwhelmed
By these thoughts
By this sadness
By this me
That I’ve become.
Don’t feel responsible
For my feelings
Or my hurt.
They aren’t yours to own.
I’ll get by
Even without
A man of skin.

LLH
4-7-15
2:31 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings

The Color Blue

Image from WallpapersWA.com

Image from WallpapersWA.com

They say that blue

relaxes you.

I find no calming effect.

.

It fills me up

with cold, blue tears

and makes me quite upset.

.

I like a perfect pink

a pretty perky yellow.

Green in all its shades

is like a happy hello.

.

But you,

.  you blue,

you sadden me

like raindrops on the roof.

You chill the temps

and dim the sky

and make the world aloof.

.

LLH

4-6-15

3:18 pm

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Filed under 30in30, Feelings, Weather