Category Archives: Parenting

Suddenly Aware

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I feel it slipping away.
They’re growing up
growing away.
I gave up everything
                for them.

Of course, i did.
And i’d do it again.
But i see the loneliness
the utter emptiness
             of my future.

I made so many mistakes,
so many wrong decisions,
that left me here
in a present that is
             slowly fading.

I feel the panic
and sudden awareness
that everything i’ve lived for
is eventually leaving me
             alone with myself.

By LLH
10/17/19
3:27 PM

“Growing Up Alone”by Clay Carson is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

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Filed under Divorce, Feelings, Me, Parenting, Uncategorized

One Week After

The tears fall

irregularly

over little hurts

real and imagined.

 

Our world hiccupped

to February ‘13

But now they are older

now they understand.

 

Me?

It is my fault.

I tried to make it work.

 

But

It isn’t under my control.

Is anything, really?

 

Control is an illusion.

 

I wipe the tears.

I offer my arms

and my love.

 

We eat pizza

and watch a movie

……and heal.

 

Tomorrow will be better.

 

Photo courtesy of Leonid Mamchenkov

Photo courtesy of Leonid Mamchenkov

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LLH

10/22/14

10:34 AM

2 Comments

Filed under Divorce, domestic abuse, Family, Feelings, Parenting

That’s my name; don’t wear it out.

I try to write a poem.

I try to think a thought.

But all i get out of my head

are interrupted spots.

.

My mind cannot complete

Mommy!

a single, solid thought.

MOMMY!

My mind cannot compete.

Mooommmmmy!

It’s tired, overwrought.

.

Mom! is all i hear,

and Mom! is all they say,

and Mom! is reverberating

deep within my brain.

.

I put away my pen.

I set aside my poem.

‘Cause both will be there

another day

when all my kids are grown.

.

And no one will call “Mommy!”

And no one will need help.

There will be no more fights to handle

and no more yells or shouts.

.

The house it will be empty,

and sadly, i’ll be alone.

And in that peace and quiet

maybe then i’ll write a poem.

.

.

4/4/12

3 Comments

Filed under Family, Humor, Mom, Parenting