Category Archives: Humor

What we’re made of… #poetry

I found my old poetry books. These date back to college and my early 20s and i found some fun things (and some deep things) that i thought i’d share. I’ll date them all, but please, don’t do the math. #OldLadyPoet

College Assignment: Take a well-known children’s rhyme and change it.

Mary Kay glory
What are big girls made of?
Oprah and Maury
And Mary Kay glory.
That’s what big girls are made of.

What are big boys made of?
Tools and cars
And downtown strip bars.
That’s what big boys are made of.

 

Laurie Esposito Harley
October 1, 1996

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Hidden Meaning: A #30in30 Poem

hidden meaning poem

 

 

 

 

 

The doorbell rings.

The dog, he barks.

The landlord’s standing there.

 

The question asked

has unsaid worth.

You answer as you think best.

 

As you watch over

the landlord’s shoulder,

the cow’s tail lifts

.                        a turd released.

 

4/7/12

#5

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That’s my name; don’t wear it out.

I try to write a poem.

I try to think a thought.

But all i get out of my head

are interrupted spots.

.

My mind cannot complete

Mommy!

a single, solid thought.

MOMMY!

My mind cannot compete.

Mooommmmmy!

It’s tired, overwrought.

.

Mom! is all i hear,

and Mom! is all they say,

and Mom! is reverberating

deep within my brain.

.

I put away my pen.

I set aside my poem.

‘Cause both will be there

another day

when all my kids are grown.

.

And no one will call “Mommy!”

And no one will need help.

There will be no more fights to handle

and no more yells or shouts.

.

The house it will be empty,

and sadly, i’ll be alone.

And in that peace and quiet

maybe then i’ll write a poem.

.

.

4/4/12

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Filed under Family, Humor, Mom, Parenting

Anger

So happy...goin' to the fridge...

So happy... taking out the peanut butter... the jelly...

It’s starting to boil,
the anger I feel.
From inside my nostrils
and down to my heels.

Dark smoke is streaming
out of my ears.
Don’t think I’m crying.
That’s sweat, not tears.

My face is turning
a dark shade of red.
Now somebody answer!
Who ate all the bread?!?

AAaargh!!

LLH
05-07-11

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Filed under Feelings, Humor

i

iI sat and stared out the window.
A teardrop fell from my eye.
I’m feeling very sorry
for me, myself, and I.
I cry and weep and throw a fit.
You just don’t understand.
I sigh and lay my head to rest
upon my tear-soaked hand.
One day maybe you’ll sympathize.
Don’ know when that’ll be.
Some day you might just get
that it’s always about me.

Written on 10-18-10

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Od’ed on Helium

Od'ed on Helium

The MSDS for Helium
reports that small amounts
will modify “the voice
so that it is high-pitched.”
But large amounts
could displace oxygen
“necessary to support life.”

Can you imagine
……………dying
from breathing in helium?

Can you hear
……………the cries for help?

Written in 1999ish

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